Here we go with another dickhead.Â As always, If you would like to add more names to the roster of douches, you can comment here or on the original post.
Candidate number 2: Curt Schilling
In the interest of full disclosure, I feel it’s important to include this fact:Â If Curt Schilling died, I would be happy. This isn’t some conjecture or hyperbole meant to show you how much I hate this guy. I actively root for his death on a daily basis. His very existence is abhorrent to me.
Here’s why he’s a douchebag.
Curt Schilling is all about Curt Schilling. When he joined the Red Sox prior to 2004, he spoke about wanting to win a World Series for the fans of Boston. What he really meant was he wanted to be the guy credited by the fans of Boston for winning a World Series. That’s why he made such a big deal about that goddamned bloody sock. Lots of people play injured, but they don’t mail their dirty laundry to Cooperstown.Â He’s a glory hog, and I hate that.
Curt Schilling needs to learn when to shut his face. During the NBA Finals, he criticized Kobe Bryant for being a bad teammate. Hey, Curt, fuck off. Nobody asked you.
Curt Schilling is a bad teammate. Oh look, assface, the shoe is on the other foot now.Â Ask Mitch Williams what he thinks about Curt Schilling. He hates him more than I do.Â Why? Because he threw that douchey towel over his douchey head during the ’93 post season.Â He was so worried that Williams would blow his prescious wins, that he couldn’t bear to watch. And what do you know? Schilling ended up on TV as a result.
Curt Schilling has cornered the market on disgusting false modesty. Are you a “Hall of Famer?” the radio host asks. “No, no way I am” says Dickbrain McGee. Then he sits there and listens while the radio host makes the case for Schilling to be inducted. What an ass.
Curt Schilling is a terrible husband and father.Â His wife had skin cancer. His kids are at risk as well. So, where does he make the family live? In the middle of the Arizona desert, of course. So, when the kids wanted to go out and play when they were little, they had to do it at night.Â Awesome. Curt Schilling is raising an army of mole people who will do nothing but bow to him and play on swing sets in the darkness.
There, I’ve made my case. He’s a scourge on society and a pox on our nation. WHAT A DOUCHE!