Reason #886 Why I’m Not A Professional Sportscaster

Justin July 9, 2008 2

Jason Giambi is getting a lot of attention because of his moustache these days. It’s the most famous facial hair in baseball since Rollie Fingers made himself like an old-timey robber, who was going to tie your girlfriend to the railroad tracks.

Sportscasters seem to have embraced the ‘stache as well. Everytime he does something, they make reference to the ol’ push broom, and then show all the Yankee fans wearing fake moustaches in the stands.

That’s why I don’t understand why no one has made the next logical step, and catered a homerun call to the phenomenon. Next time Giambi hits one out, the sportscaster should say “Giambi gives that one a free moustache ride!”

For anyone who gets it, its a hilarious double entendre, and let’s them think they’re in on the joke. And for those who don’t understand, it’s just another empty non-sequiter in what has probably been a life full of them.


  1. King Ing July 9, 2008 at 11:46 am -

    I think they are giving away free fake mustaches at tonights game

  2. Jamba July 9, 2008 at 7:08 pm -

    I heard they are giving free mustache rides away tomorrow night too.

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