Happy Birthday America!
Follow our flawless schedule for a patriotic and awesome 4th of July:
9am PT (12 ET) – Kobayashi tries to regain the hot dog eating crown at Coney Island.
10:30am – The Jaws marathon begins on AMC (yes, all 4 of them in a row). I hope this doesn’t scare you from swimming at the beach this summer.
1pm – Barbecue perhaps?
4pm – Break out the bocce balls
8pm PT – US Olympic Swimming Trials: Michael Phelps flexes his guns and intimidates swimmers around the world.
9pm – Go light some fireworks (but don’t start any more forest fires in California).
10pm – Watch out, the cops will be on the prowl to bust you for drinking and driving. Take the back roads home.